Snapshots from the Looney Bin

I decided I needed to spice it up a bit around here.  It's all much too...Leave it to Beaver, and we are certainly no Cleaver Family. So between our zoo trip and Halloween "all is good" posts, we need something a little more real.  I present to you...a snapshot from the looney bin. 

Today Alaina dumped a big ol bag of chips on the floor in the kitchen.  Swept this weekend but haven't mopped in a week or two.  Gross.  So I did what any other grodimus mom would do and started to put the chips back in the bag for everyone to continue eating.  I see a metaphor for my days forming here. I feel like my life is little more than picking up dozen of tiny little greasy but delicious things (go with it here, people), shoving them back where they go (laundry, toys, clothes, dishes, appts, crafts, kids in bed at the end of the day...) and having a greasy floor and greasy fingers to show for it.

***I apologize for this interruption in your regularly scheduled blog post reading to inform you of breaking news.  Thinking I outsmarted the 20 month old, I put chips in a small container to be better managed by little fingers. The chips have just been dumped, again, all over the living room carpet.  It appears that even though I have good intentions, chips are a very dumpy snack and 20 month olds like to dump, my intentions may not be too smart.  Wait, this just in:  the chips appear to be of the self cleaning variety and are slowly diminishing in numbers from the carpet.***  

The part to show where nothing goes quite right, aside from the dumping of the chips in the first place, is that when Joseph graciously offers to help pick up chips with me (such a sweet little guy, right?!) he is taking a bite and then dropping the rest of the chip back in.  *sigh*  Seriously?!  Ack, how many tainted chips are in the bag?  How many chips have you been doing slobbering on?! Is this some kind of cootie game?  Am I just that deserving of a little helper such as this?  So this is where all you can do is laugh, because really it's all pretty goofy and otherwise I'm taking life much too seriously.  I gasped then elbow the kid out of the way and giggle while I tell him to "knock it off, goober".

Oh but we're not through.  Not by a long shot.  Because while I have my back turned for a nano second, Joseph has cut a piece of paper into a million jillion pieces on the kitchen floor.  Just like the dishes, laundry, toys, and dirt - it's never really "clean" and there are always a million jillion of it. In the five seconds it takes for me to monitor the cleaning of the paper, Alaina has found a bottle of bubbles and dumped it out.  Everywhere.  Everyday.  Shall I go on?      

It's. Never. Ending.

It was about this time that I kicked them both out to the back yard and locked the door.  I wasn't laughing at that point, but looking back?  I can giggle a little.  Maybe I can even appreciate the madness a smidgen.  Those two are nuts and I'm the warden.  But I know (maybe unlike a true warden) that I'll miss it when it's all gone. 

Maybe?  Maybe not!